Steadfast Love

Mercy, Just When I Need It

It was about 8:30 in the morning when I woke up in my tour bus bunk to a text message from my Mom;  

“Your Dad had a heart attack last night.”  

I immediately called her. She was standing next to him in the hospital, and I could sense that it wasn’t going well. My Dad’s body was being sustained, but he wasn’t waking up. I jumped in a car and headed to the airport to catch the first flight home.  When I got to the hospital, my dad was on a breathing machine--but he looked good and we were hopeful. Over the following 24 hours they ran a slew of tests and ultimately determined that the hemorrhaging in his brain that had happened overnight had caused too much damage. The final moment came when the doctor stepped in and told us that my Dad had passed away.    

My Mom started to yell at the doctor, beat on his chest, and got weak in her knees. I wrapped her up as she uncontrollably wailed her complaints to God. 

Then the strangest thing happened. 

I started to hear a song. I hadn’t ever heard it and Mom had never sang it before, but right in my ear, as I held her tight, in minor notes of groaning she began to cry, “He gives! He takes! Blessed be the Name of the Lord!” (Job 1:21) 

My sweet Momma didn’t grow up knowing Jesus. She wasn’t familiar Matt Redman (“He gives and takes away!”), or Christian culture in general, but that was her tune when death entered the room. The funny thing is that she doesn’t even remember it. It was like a river of living water flowing out of her (John 7:38)! Mercy JUST when she needed it. It was as if, perhaps, the Spirit was helping her in her weakness because she didn’t know what to pray, but the SPIRIT Himself was interceding for her with groanings too deep for words (Romans 8:26).

The hardest day of our lives, and yet… the peace of God and the praise of God filled that room (Phil 4:6-7). He is faithful! Everything you need, you WILL have when you need it! It reminds me of a page from Corrie Ten Boom’s The Hiding Place. She writes:

“Father sat down on the edge of the narrow bed. "Corrie," he began gently, "when you and I go to Amsterdam-when do I give you your ticket?"
I sniffed a few times, considering this.
"Why, just before we get on the train."
"Exactly. And our wise Father in heaven knows when we're going to need things, too. Don't run out ahead of Him, Corrie. When the time comes that some of us will have to die, you will look into your heart and find the strength you need-just in time.”

In your darkest moment, there is a song. It may not be pretty, and the first verse will surely sound like a complaint, but it will be there. Jesus will be there. 

When fear’s so overwhelming 

I can feel it in my skin 

And the bitterness of losing faith 

Like poison on my lips 

When life feels like a never ending 

weight upon my soul 

Oh, I need You oh Lord 

Your steadfast love never ceases 

Your goodness God 

calling me to rest 

Your mercy just when I need it 

How great is Your faithfulness

The weight of every sin 

Is closing in on human bones 

As the Son of God was dreaming about 

What tomorrow holds 

The night so overwhelming 

Blood and water start to flow

Not my will, oh but Yours 

I’ll sing the song 

Of the wounded One 

Not my will 

Father Yours be done 

In Your mercy

You have wounded me 

And by Your wounds 

Jesus I am healed 

Your steadfast love never ceases 

Your goodness God 

calling me to rest 

Your mercy just when I need it 

How great is Your faithfulness

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